There is the present, and there is the future — and the only way I will reach the future is through the here and now.
That means tending to myself in this moment, and in this one, and in this one.
It means tending to my physical body, as well as my spirit, my heart, and my mind.
On this day, that means finishing my doctor appointment, taking my medication thirty minutes before my next meal, and waiting. It means looking out the window, noticing the color of the sky, and closing my eyes. It means envisioning my weekend — heading to Santa Cruz to support a friend in a triathlon sprint, and staying at another friend’s family home in Los Gatos the night before (with a pool, and maybe a night swim).
It means (another) first date next week, after pausing my Hinge profile and taking a little break, and a ninety-minute session with my coach, focused just on my writing. I’ve had the intention to schedule this for a long time — we’ll review my current material, and I hope to walk away with clear next steps.
Next week, I’ll also continue the conversation with a meditation app about contributing copywriting and evolving their voice.
In between, I’ll review the requirements for my coaching certification (I finished my ten-month program last week), coach a client (still a highlight), and start puppy-sitting for a friend who’s traveling.
And through it all, I’ll keep writing, editing, refining.
I look at this and think — I’m so lucky. And: none of this is yet the bigger creative work I hope to be doing alongside others. None of this is making me the money I need to support my life in San Francisco. I need a new computer and a few extra things. I’m still doing exercises to support my hip and strengthen my core — moving through this world as a single woman who is, I think, building her own business. Was it inevitable?
Amid all this, there is the daily need for care: a breath with a view. A supple couch. A walk in the sun. Music. Friends, in a light and not overscheduled way. Coffee at the new spot across the street. Stretching, the jacuzzi, sleep. Shopping for groceries, making meals, eating.
Tending while building. Slow lately, but maybe that’s okay. Trusting that taking action, experimenting, and seeing where it leads — while trusting — is better than wondering where it’s leading and overthinking.
It would be easy to plot out every scenario, work myself into a tizzy, and then, once I landed somewhere, realize I’d lost the free time I had to enjoy things. I don’t want to get there and see that I missed the now.
I want to honor what I have, keep an eye on where I’m heading, and continue trusting that my presence and my creativity and my flow will get me there.
Exactly what I needed today, especially this - “trusting — is better than wondering where it’s leading and overthinking.” Thank you 🙏